You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
