i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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