I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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