Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
