Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
