just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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