I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize