Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
