How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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