I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
