Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I wear drunk well.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
