I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
