We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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