I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
