it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize