38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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