You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
