do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
