i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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