Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Barsexuality is the new black.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize