I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
