everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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