arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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