She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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