we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize