He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
