i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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