just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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