Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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