If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
