Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize