You just made me feel so damn special
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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