I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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