my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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