I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize