The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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