I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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