She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
