I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
