What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
