The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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