I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I think I sprained my soul last night
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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