Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
