the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
