its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
