Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
