FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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