a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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