do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
