Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
