You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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