Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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