Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
