Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
