Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
