i would punch a child for taco bell
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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