I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
