While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
