so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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