Pass out mid-funnel last night.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
