I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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