You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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