she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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