so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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