Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I love having hate sex.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I need to align my fucking chakras
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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