well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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