did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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