just come out here and I will go home with you...
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
We named our party play list daddy issues
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
