Sponge bath it is.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize