I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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