Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
