yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize