you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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