So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
