Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
