I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
