ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
