How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
