We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
