You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize