Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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